The Homework Fight

The other night, I had a fight with my wife. Not about bills, not about chores—no, it was about homework. Or more specifically, my lack of concern for it. Well we fight all the time for chores and bills but right now i want to write about the homework FIGHT!!

See, I want to be the fun dad. I want to be the dad who signs up for every after-school activity under the sun. Taekwondo? Done. Soccer practice? You bet. And don’t get me started on music lessons, because, obviously, our seven-year-old needs to learn playing electrical guitar. It is, after all, an essential life skill.

But homework? Yeah, I can’t bring myself to care as much. I’ll admit it—I treat homework like it’s the broccoli on my plate. You know it’s important, but it’s so easy to just push aside for the good stuff.

My wife, on the other hand, is the homework warrior. She’s got checklists, timers, and this endless supply of energy to make sure every math problem is correctly done and every sentence is diagrammed. She seems to be getting ready for a final test every day and I’m just the guy sitting in the back row doodling on his notebook.

So, naturally, we had a clash. I was in my usual after-school activity zone, making sure the kids were ready for soccer. She was standing there, arms crossed, pointing at our son’s unfinished math excercises.

"What are you doing" she asked. You’re always so obsessed with the fun stuff," she said. "But when it comes to homework, where are you?"

And there it was. The words hung in the air.

It wasn’t that I didn’t care about homework. I mean, when I was a kid, we barely did homework. We played outside until the streetlights came on. I’d race my bike with the neighborhood kids, and look at me now—I turned out fine, right? So, what’s a few missed math problems?

But here’s the thing: that’s not how parenting works today. The world is different. We’re in the era, where every missed assignment feels like a step toward academic doom. And deep down, I get it. I know my wife isn’t overreacting. She’s right in her own way—our kids need both structure and fun. I’m just more comfortable being the "fun" guy.

The truth is, after-school activities are my thing because they’re hands-on, engaging, and, let’s be real, they feel more like "real life." I’d rather see my kid scoring a goal or nailing a guitar chord than fighting over fractions. But does that make me a good parent? Most probably not. It just makes me the dad who’s more about extracurriculars than equations.

After some back-and-forth, we found middle ground. While my spouse is the homework queen, I continue to rule the after-school activities. We decided to divide and conquer; I would keep them busy with creative and physical activities, and she would see to it that they completed their schooling.

However, that altercation? It made me acknowledge that perhaps I ought to give a bit more thought to what occurs prior to the soccer match or the music class. Because having fun isn't the main goal in the end. Raising balanced children who can answer equations and kick a ball is the goal.

Even if I’d still choose the soccer field over fractions any day.